Etiquette · Emily Post
Every time I come from Great Estates, I realize again that there is no house to which I always go with so much pleasure, and leave on Monday morning with so much regret.
Your party over this last week-end was simply wonderful! And thank you ever so much for having included me.
Always sincerely, Constance Style.
From a Young Couple
Dear Mrs. Town:
We had a perfect time at Tuxedo over Sunday and it was so good of you to include us. Jack says he is going to practise putting the way Mr. Town showed him, and maybe the next time he plays in a foursome he won't be such a handicap to his partner.
Thanking you both for the pleasure you gave us,
Affectionately yours, Sally Titherington Littlehouse
From a Bride to Her New Relatives-in-Law
A letter that was written by a bride after paying a first visit to her husband's aunt and uncle won for her at a stroke the love of the whole family.
This is the letter:
Dear "Aunt Annie":
Now that it is all over, I have a confession to make! Do you know that when Dick drove me up to your front door and I saw you and Uncle Bob standing on the top step--I was simply paralyzed with fright!
"Suppose they don't like me," was all that I could think. Of course, I knew you loved Dick--but that only made it worse. How awful, if you couldn't like me! The reason I stumbled coming up the steps was because my knees were actually knocking together! You remember, Uncle Bob sang out it was good I was already married, or I wouldn't be this year? And then--you were both so perfectly adorable to me--and you made me feel as though I had always been your niece--and not just the wife of your nephew.
I loved every minute of our being with you, dear Aunt Annie, just as much as Dick did, and we hope you are going to let us come soon again.
With best love from us both,
Your affectionate niece, Helen.
The above type of letter would not serve perhaps if Dick's aunt had been a forbidding and austere type of woman; but even such a one would be far more apt to take a new niece to her heart if the new niece herself gave evidence of having one.
After Visiting a Friend
Dear Kate:
It was hideously dull and stuffy in town this morning after the fresh coolness of Strandholm. The back yard is not an alluring outlook after the wide spaces and delicious fragrance of your garden.
It was good being with you and I enjoyed every moment. Don't forget you are lunching here on the 16th and that we are going to hear Kreisler together.
Devotedly always, Caroline.
From a Man Who Has Been Ill and Convalescing at a Friend's House
Dear Martha:
I certainly hated taking that train this morning and realizing that the end had come to my peaceful days. You and John and the children, and your place, which is the essence of all that a "home" ought to be, have put me on my feet again. I thank you much--much more than I can say for the wonderful goodness of all of you.
Fred.
From a Woman Who Has Been Visiting a Very Old Friend
I loved my visit with you, dear Mary; it was more than good to be with you and have a chance for long talks at your fireside. Don't forget your promise to come here in May! I told Sam and Hettie you were coming, and now the whole town is ringing with the news, and every one is planning a party for you.
David sends "his best" to you and Charlie, and you know you always have the love of
Your devoted Pat.
To an Acquaintance
After a visit to a formal acquaintance or when some one has shown you especial hospitality in a city where you are a stranger:
My dear Mrs. Duluth:
It was more than good of you to give my husband and me so much pleasure. We enjoyed, and appreciated, all your kindness to us more than we can say.
We hope that you and Mr. Duluth may be coming East before long and that we may then have the pleasure of seeing you at Strandholm.
In the meanwhile, thanking you for your generous hospitality, and with kindest regards to you both, in which my husband joins, believe me,
Very sincerely yours, Katherine de Puyster Eminent.
An engraved card of thanks is proper only when sent by a public official to acknowledge the overwhelming number of congratulatory messages he must inevitably receive from strangers, when he has carried an election or otherwise been honored with the confidence of his State or country. A recent and excellent example follows:
My dear....
I warmly appreciate your kind message of congratulation which has given me a great deal of pleasure, and sincerely wish that it were possible for me to acknowledge it in a less formal manner.
Faithfully,
(signed by hand)
An engraved form of thanks for sympathy, also from one in public life, is presented in the following example:
Mr. John Smith wishes to express his deep gratitude and to thank you for your kind expression of sympathy
But remember: an engraved card sent by a private individual to a personal friend, is not "stylish" or smart, but rude. (See also engraved acknowledgment of sympathy, pages 406-7.)
A letter of business introduction can be much more freely given than a letter of social introduction. For the former it is necessary merely that the persons introduced have business interests in common--which are much more easily determined than social compatibility, which is the requisite necessary for the latter. It is, of course, proper to give your personal representative a letter of introduction to whomever you send him.
On the subject of letters of social introduction there is one chief rule:
Never ask for letters of introduction, and be very sparing in your offers to write or accept them.
Seemingly few persons realize that a letter of social introduction is actually a draft for payment on demand. The form might as well be: "The bearer of this has (because of it) the right to demand your interest, your time, your hospitality--liberally and at once, no matter what your inclination may be."
Therefore, it is far better to refuse in the beginning, than to hedge and end by committing the greater error of unwarrantedly inconveniencing a valued friend or acquaintance.
When you have a friend who is going to a city where you have other friends, and you believe that it will be a mutual pleasure for them to meet, a letter of introduction is proper and very easy to write, but sent to a casual acquaintance--no matter how attractive or distinguished the person to be introduced--it is a gross presumption.
Dear Mrs. Marks:
Julian Gibbs is going to Buffalo on January tenth to deliver a lecture on his Polar expedition, and I am sending him a card of introduction to you. He is very agreeable personally, and I think that perhaps you and Mr. Marks will enjoy meeting him as much as I know he would enjoy knowing you.
With kindest regards, in which Arthur joins,
Very sincerely, Ethel Norman.
If Mr. Norman were introducing one man to another he would give his card to the former, inscribed as follows:
[HW: Introducing Julian Gibbs]
Also Mr. Norman would send a private letter by mail, telling his friend that Mr. Gibbs is coming, as follows:
Dear Marks:
I am giving Julian Gibbs a card of introduction to you when he goes to Buffalo on the tenth to lecture. He is an entertaining and very decent fellow, and I think possibly Mrs. Marks would enjoy meeting him. If you can conveniently ask him to your house, I know he would appreciate it; if not, perhaps you will put him up for a day or two at a club.
Faithfully, Arthur Norman.
Dear Claire:
A very great friend of ours, James Dawson, is to be in Chicago for several weeks. Any kindness that you can show him will be greatly appreciated by
Yours as always, Ethel Norman.
At the same time a second and private letter of information is written and sent by mail:
Dear Claire:
I wrote you a letter to-day introducing Jim Dawson. He used to be on the Yalvard football team, perhaps you remember. He is one of the best sort in the world and I know you will like him. I don't want to put you to any trouble, but do ask him to your house if you can. He plays a wonderful game of golf and a good game of bridge, but he is more a man's than a woman's type of man. Maybe if Tom likes him, he will put him up at a club as he is to be in Chicago for some weeks.
Affectionately always, Ethel.
Another example:
Dear Caroline:
A very dear friend of mine, Mrs. Fred West, is going to be in New York this winter, while her daughter is at Barnard. I am asking her to take this letter to you as I want very much to have her meet you and have her daughter meet Pauline. Anything that you can do for them will be the same as for me!
Yours affectionately, Sylvia Greatlake.
The private letter by mail to accompany the foregoing:
Dearest Caroline:
Mildred West, for whom I wrote to you this morning, is a very close friend of mine. She is going to New York with her only daughter--who, in spite of wanting a college education, is as pretty as a picture, with plenty of come-hither in the eye--so do not be afraid that the typical blue-stocking is to be thrust upon Pauline! The mother is an altogether lovely person and I know that you and she will speak the same language--if I didn't, I wouldn't give her a letter to you. Do go to see her as soon as you can; she will be stopping at the Fitz-Cherry and probably feeling rather lost at first. She wants to take an apartment for the winter and I told her I was sure you would know the best real estate and intelligence offices, etc., for her to go to.
I hope I am not putting you to any trouble about her, but she is really a darling and you will like her I know.
Devotedly yours, Sylvia.
Directions for procedure upon being given (or receiving) a letter of introduction will be found on pages 16 and 17.
In other days when even verbal messages began with the "presenting of compliments," a social note, no matter what its length or purport, would have been considered rude, unless written in the third person. But as in a communication of any length the difficulty of this form is almost insurmountable (to say nothing of the pedantic effect of its accomplishment), it is no longer chosen--aside from the formal invitation, acceptance and regret--except for notes to stores or subordinates. For example:
Will B. Stern & Co. please send (and charge) to Mrs. John H. Smith, 2 Madison Avenue,
1 paper of needles No. 9 2 spools white sewing Cotton No. 70 1 yard of material (sample enclosed).
January 6.
To a servant:
Mrs. Eminent wishes Patrick to meet her at the station on Tuesday the eighth at 11.03. She also wishes him to have the shutters opened and the house aired on that day, and a fire lighted in the northwest room. No provisions will be necessary as Mrs. Eminent is returning to town on the 5.16.
Tuesday, March 1.
Letters in the third person are no longer signed unless the sender's signature is necessary for identification, or for some action on the part of the receiver, such as
Will Mr. Cash please give the bearer six yards of material to match the sample enclosed, and oblige,
Mrs. John H. Smith.[A]
[Footnote A: A note in 3rd person is the single occasion when a married woman signs "Mrs." before her name.]
A letter of recommendation for membership to a club is addressed to the secretary and should be somewhat in this form:
To the Secretary of the Town Club.
My dear Mrs. Brown:
Mrs. Titherington Smith, whose name is posted for membership, is a very old and close friend of mine. She is the daughter of the late Rev. Samuel Eminent and is therefore a member in her own right, as well as by marriage, of representative New York families.
She is a person of much charm and distinction, and her many friends will agree with me, I am sure, in thinking that she would be a valuable addition to the club.
Very sincerely, Ethel Norman.
Although the written recommendation that is given to the employee carries very little weight, compared to the slip from the employment agencies where either "yes" or "no" has to be answered to a list of specific and important questions, one is nevertheless put in a trying position when reporting on an unsatisfactory servant.
Either a poor reference must be given--possibly preventing a servant from earning her living--or one has to write what is not true. Consequently it has become the custom to say what one truthfully can of good, and leave out the qualifications that are bad (except in the case of a careless nurse, where evasion would border on the criminal).
That solves the poor recommendation problem pretty well; but unless one is very careful this consideration for the "poor" one, is paid for by the "good." In writing for a very worthy servant therefore, it is of the utmost importance in fairness to her (or him) to put in every merit that you can think of, remembering that omission implies demerit in each trait of character not mentioned. All good references should include honesty, sobriety, capability, and a reason, other than their unsatisfactoriness, for their leaving. The recommendation for a nurse can not be too conscientiously written.
A lady does not begin a recommendation: "To whom it may concern," nor "This is to certify," although housekeepers and head servants writing recommendations use both of these forms, and "third person" letters, are frequently written by secretaries.
A lady in giving a good reference should write:
Two Hundred Park Square.
Selma Johnson has lived with me for two years as cook.
I have found her honest, sober, industrious, neat in her person as well as her work, of amiable disposition and a very good cook.
She is leaving to my great regret because I am closing my house for the winter.
Selma is an excellent servant in every way and I shall be glad to answer personally any inquiries about her.
Josephine Smith. (Mrs. Titherington Smith) October, 1921.
The form of all recommendations is the same:
---- has lived with me ---- months years as ----. I have found him/ her ----. He/She is leaving because ----.
(Any special remark of added recommendation or showing interest)
---- (Mrs. ----)
Date.
Dear Mary:
While we are not altogether surprized, we are both delighted to hear the good news. Jim's family and ours are very close, as you know, and we have always been especially devoted to Jim. He is one of the finest--and now luckiest, of young men, and we send you both every good wish for all possible happiness.
Affectionately, Ethel Norman.
Just a line, dear Jim, to tell you how glad we all are to hear of your happiness. Mary is everything that is lovely and, of course, from our point of view, we don't think her exactly unfortunate either! Every good wish that imagination can think of goes to you from your old friends.
Ethel and Arthur Norman.
I can't tell you, dearest Mary, of all the wishes I send for your happiness. Give Jim my love and tell him how lucky I think he is, and how much I hope all good fortune will come to you both.
Lovingly, Aunt Kate.
My dear Mrs. Brown:
We have just heard of the honors that your son has won. How proud you must be of him! We are both so glad for him and for you. Please congratulate him for us, and believe me,
Very sincerely, Ethel Norman.
Or:
Dear Mrs. Brown:
We are so glad to hear the good news of David's success; it was a very splendid accomplishment and we are all so proud of him and of you. Please give him our love and congratulations, and with full measure of both to you,
Affectionately, Martha Kindhart.
Dear John:
We are overjoyed at the good news! For once the reward has fallen where it is deserved. Certainly no one is better fitted than yourself for a diplomat's life, and we know you will fill the position to the honor of your country. Please give my love to Alice, and with renewed congratulations to you from us both.
Yours always, Ethel Norman.
Another example:
Dear Michael:
We all rejoice with you in the confirmation of your appointment. The State needs just such men as you--if we had more of your sort the ordinary citizen would have less to worry about. Our best congratulations!
John Kindhart.
Intimate letters of condolence are like love letters, in that they are too sacred to follow a set form. One rule, and one only, should guide you in writing such letters. Say what you truly feel. Say that and nothing else. Sit down at your desk, let your thoughts dwell on the person you are writing to.
Don't dwell on the details of illness or the manner of death; don't quote endlessly from the poets and Scriptures. Remember that eyes filmed with tears and an aching heart can not follow rhetorical lengths of writing. The more nearly a note can express a hand-clasp, a thought of sympathy, above all, a genuine love or appreciation of the one who has gone, the greater comfort it brings.
Write as simply as possible and let your heart speak as truly and as briefly as you can. Forget, if you can, that you are using written words, think merely how you feel--then put your feelings on paper--that is all.
Supposing it is a young mother who has died. You think how young and sweet she was--and of her little children, and, literally, your heart aches for them and her husband and her own family. Into your thoughts must come some expression of what she was, and what their loss must be!
Or maybe it is the death of a man who has left a place in the whole community that will be difficult, if not impossible, to fill, and you think of all he stood for that was fine and helpful to others, and how much and sorely he will be missed. Or suppose that you are a returned soldier, and it is a pal who has died. All you can think of is "Poor old Steve--what a peach he was! I don't think anything will ever be the same again without him." Say just that! Ask if there is anything you can do at any time to be of service to his people. There is nothing more to be said. A line, into which you have unconsciously put a little of the genuine feeling that you had for Steve, is worth pages of eloquence.
A letter of condolence may be abrupt, badly constructed, ungrammatical--never mind. Grace of expression counts for nothing; sincerity alone is of value. It is the expression, however clumsily put, of a personal something which was loved, and will ever be missed, that alone brings solace to those who are left. Your message may speak merely of a small incident--something so trifling that in the seriousness of the present, seems not worth recording; but your letter and that of many others, each bringing a single sprig, may plant a whole memory-garden in the hearts of the bereaved.
As has been said above, a letter of condolence must above everything express a genuine sentiment. The few examples are inserted merely as suggestive guides for those at a loss to construct a short but appropriate note or telegram.
Conventional Note to an Acquaintance
I know how little the words of an outsider mean to you just now--but I must tell you how deeply I sympathize with you in your great loss.
Note or Telegram to a Friend
All my sympathy and all my thoughts are with you in your great sorrow. If I can be of any service to you, you know how grateful I shall be.
Telegram to a Very Near Relative or Friend
Words are so empty! If only I knew how to fill them with love and send them to you.
Or:
If love and thoughts could only help you, Margaret dear, you should have all the strength of both that I can give.
Letter Where Death Was Release
The letter to one whose loss is "for the best" is difficult in that you want to express sympathy but can not feel sad that one who has long suffered has found release. The expression of sympathy in this case should not be for the present death, but for the illness, or whatever it was that fell long ago. The grief for a paralysed mother is for the stroke which cut her down many years before, and your sympathy, though you may not have realized it, is for that. You might write:
Your sorrow during all these years--and now--is in my heart; and all my thoughts and sympathy are with you.
+=====================+============================+============= | If you | | Formal | are speaking, | | beginning of | you say: | Envelope addressed: | a letter: ---------------+---------------------+----------------------------+------------- The President | Mr. President | The President of the | Sir: | And occasionally | United States | | throughout a | or merely | | conversation, | The President, | | Sir. | Washington, D.C. | | | (There is only one | | | "President") | | | | | | | ---------------+---------------------+----------------------------+------------- The | Mr. Vice-President | The Vice-President, | Sir: Vice-President | and then, Sir. | Washington, D.C. | | | | ---------------+---------------------+----------------------------+------------- Justice of | Mr. Justice | The Hon. William H. Taft, | Sir: Supreme Court | | Chief Justice of the | | | Supreme Court, | | | Washington, D.C. | | | | | | | ---------------+---------------------+----------------------------+------------- Member of the | Mr. Secretary | The Secretary of Commerce, | Dear Sir: President's | | Washington, D.C. or: | or Cabinet | | The Hon. Herbert Hoover, | Sir: | | Secretary of Commerce, | | | Washington, D.C. | ---------------+---------------------+----------------------------+------------- United States | Senator Lodge | Senator Henry Cabot Lodge, | Dear Sir: (or State) | | Washington, D.C. | or Senator | | or a private letter: | Sir: | | Senator Henry Cabot Lodge, | | | (His house address) | | | | ---------------+---------------------+----------------------------+------------- Member of | Mr. Bell | The Hon. H.C. Bell, Jr., | Dear Sir: Congress (or | or, you may say | House of Representatives, | or Legislature) | Congressman | Washington, D.C. | Sir: | | or: State Assembly, | | | Albany, New York. | ---------------+---------------------+----------------------------+------------- Governor | Governor Miller | His Excellency, The | | (The Governor is | Governor, | Your | not called | Albany, New York. | Excellency: | Excellency when | | | spoken to and very | | | rarely when he is | | | announced. But | | | letters are | | | addressed and begun | | | with this title | | | of courtesy.) | | ---------------+---------------------+----------------------------+------------- Mayor | Mr. Mayor | His Honor the Mayor, | Dear Sir: | | City Hall, Chicago. | or | | | Sir: ---------------+---------------------+----------------------------+------------- Cardinal | Your Eminence | His Eminence John Cardinal | Your | | Gibbons, Baltimore, Md. | Eminence: | | | | | | ===============+=====================+
(section 2) +==============+================================================================ | | | | | Informal | | | Correct titles in | beginning: | Formal Close: | Informal close: | introduction: |--------------+---------------------+---------------------+-------------------- | My dear Mr. | I have the honor to | | | President: | remain, | I have the honor to | | | Most respectfully | remain, | | | yours, | Yours faithfully, | | | or | or | The President. | | I have the honor to | I am, dear | | | remain, sir, | Mr. President, | | | Your most obedient | Yours faithfully. | | | servant. | | +--------------+---------------------+---------------------+-------------------- | My dear | Same as for | Believe me, | The | Mr. Vice | President. | Yours faithfully. | Vice-President. | President: | | | +--------------+---------------------+---------------------+-------------------- | Dear Mr. | Believe me, | | The Chief Justice | Justice | Yours very truly, | | or, | Taft: | or | Believe me, | if an | | I have the honor to | Yours faithfully. | Associate Justice, | | remain, | | Mr. Justice | | Yours very truly. | | Holmes. +--------------+---------------------+---------------------+-------------------- | My dear Mr. | | | The Secretary | Secretary: | Same as above. | Same as above. | of Commerce. | | | | | | | | | | | | +--------------+---------------------+---------------------+-------------------- | Dear Senator | | | Senator Lodge. | Lodge: | | | On very formal | | Same as above. | Same as above. | and unusual | | | | occasions, | | | | Senator Lodge of | | | | Massachusetts. +--------------+---------------------+---------------------+-------------------- | Dear | | | Mr. Bell. | Mr. Bell: | Believe me, | | | or | Yours very truly. | Yours faithfully. | | Dear | | | | Congressman: | | | +--------------+---------------------+---------------------+-------------------- | Dear | | | The Governor | Governor | I have the honor to | Believe me, |(in his own state) | Miller: | remain, | Yours faithfully. | or, (out of it,) | | Yours faithfully. | | The Governor of | | | | Michigan. | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | +--------------+---------------------+---------------------+-------------------- | Dear Mayor | Believe me, | Yours faithfully. | Mayor Rolph. | Rolph: | Very truly yours. | | | | | | +--------------+---------------------+---------------------+-------------------- | Your | I have the honor to | | | Eminence: | remain, | Your Eminence's | His Eminence. | | Your Eminence's | humble servant. | | | humble servant. | | +==============+=====================+=====================+
+======================+=======================+================= | | | | If you are | Envelope | Formal beginning | speaking, you say: | addressed: | of a letter ---------------+----------------------+-----------------------+----------------- Roman Catholic | Your Grace | The Most Reverend | Most Reverend Archbishop | | Michael Corrigan, | and dear Sir: (There is no | | Archbishop of | Protestant | | New York. | Archbishop in | | | the United | | | States) | | | ---------------+----------------------+-----------------------+----------------- Bishop | Bishop Manning | To the Right Reverend | Most Reverend (Whether Roman | | William T. Manning, | and dear Sir: Catholic or | | Bishop of New York. | Protestant.) | | | | | | ---------------+----------------------+-----------------------+----------------- Priest | Father or | The Rev. | Reverend | Father Duffy | Michael Duffy. | and dear Sir: ---------------+----------------------+-----------------------+----------------- Protestant | Mr. Saintly | The Rev. Geo. | Sir: Clergyman | (If he is D.D. or | Saintly. (If you do | or | LL.D., you call him | not know his first | My dear Sir: | Dr. Saintly.) | name, write The | | | Rev. ... Saintly. | | | rather than the | | | Rev. Mr. Saintly) | ---------------+----------------------+-----------------------+----------------- Rabbi | Rabbi Wise | Dr. Stephen Wise, | Dear Sir: | (If he is D.D. or | or Rabbi Stephen | | LL.D., he is called | Wise, or Rev. | | Dr. Wise) | Stephen Wise. | ---------------+----------------------+-----------------------+----------------- Ambassador | Your Excellency | His Excellency | Your | or | The American | Excellency: | Mr. Ambassador | Ambassador,[B] | | | American Embassy, | | | London. | | | | | | | | | | ---------------+----------------------+-----------------------+----------------- Minister | In English he is | The Hon. J.D. | Sir: is Pleni- | usually called "Mr. | Prince, American | correct but, potentiary | Prince," though it | Legation, | Your | is not incorrect to | Copenhagen, or | Excellency: | call him "Mr. | (more courteously) | is sometimes | Minister." The | His Excellency, The | used in | title "Excellency" | American Minister, | courtesy. | is also occasionally | Copenhagen, Denmark | | used in courtesy, | | | though it does not | | | belong to him. | | | In French he is | | | always called | | | Monsieur le | | | Ministre | | ---------------+----------------------+-----------------------+----------------- Consul | Mr. Smith | If he has held office | Sir: | | as assemblyman or | or | | commissioner, so that | My dear Sir: | | he has the right to | | | the title of | | | "Honorable" is | | | addressed: | | | The Hon. John Smith, | | | otherwise: | | | John Smith, Esq., | | | American Consul, | | | Rue Quelque Chose, | | | Paris. | ===============+======================+=======================+
(section 2) +===================+=========================+================+================ | | | | Correct | Informal | | Informal | titles in | beginning: | Formal close: | close: | introduction: +-------------------+-------------------------+----------------+---------------- | Most Reverend | I have the honor | Same as formal | The Most | and Dear Sir: | to remain, | close. | Reverend The | | Your humble servant, | | Archbishop. | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | +-------------------+-------------------------+----------------+---------------- | My Dear Bishop | I have the honor to | Faithfully | Bishop | Manning: | remain, Your obedient | yours. | Manning. | | servant, or, to | | | | remain, | | | | Respectfully yours, | | +-------------------+-------------------------+----------------+---------------- | Dear Father | I beg to remain, | Faithfully | Father | Duffy: | Yours faithfully, | yours. | Duffy. |-------------------+-------------------------+----------------+---------------- | Dear Dr. Saintly: | Same as above, | Faithfully | Dr. (or Mr.) | (or Dear Mr. | | yours, or | Saintly | Saintly if he is | | Sincerely | | not a D.D.) | | yours, | | | | | | | | | | | | | +-------------------+-------------------------+----------------+---------------- | Dear Dr. Wise: | I beg to remain, | Yours | Rabbi Wise. | | Yours sincerely, | sincerely, | | | | | | | | | +-------------------+-------------------------+----------------+---------------- | Dear Mr. | I have the honor to | Yours | The | Ambassador: | remain, Yours | faithfully, | American | | faithfully, or, Yours | | Ambassador. | | very truly, or, Yours | | | | respectfully. or very | | | | formally: I have the | | | | honor to remain, sir, | | | | your obedient servant. | | +-------------------+-------------------------+----------------+---------------- | Dear Mr. | Same as above. | Yours | Mr. Prince, | Minister: | | faithfully, | the American | or Dear | | | Minister, or | Mr. Prince: | | | merely, The | | | | American | | | | Minister as | | | | everyone is | | | | supposed to | | | | know his name | | | | or find it | | | | out. | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | +-------------------+-------------------------+----------------+---------------- | Dear Mr. Smith: | I beg to remain, | Faithfully, | Mr. Smith | | Yours very truly. | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | +===================+=========================+================+
[Footnote B: Although our Ambassadors and Ministers represent the United States of America, it is customary both in Europe and Asia to omit the words United States and write to and speak of the American Embassy and Legation. In addressing a letter to one of our representatives in countries of the Western Hemisphere, "The United States of America" is always specified by way of courtesy to the Americans of South America.]
Foreign persons of title are not included in the foregoing diagram because an American (unless in the Diplomatic Service) would be unlikely to address any but personal friends, to whom he would write as to any others. An envelope would be addressed in the language of the person written to: "His Grace, the Duke of Overthere (or merely The Duke of Overthere), Hyde Park, London"; "Mme. la Princess d'Acacia, Ave. du Bois, Paris"; "Il Principe di Capri, Cusano sul Seveso"; "Lady Alwin, Cragmere, Scotland," etc. The letter would begin, Dear Duke of Overthere (or Dear Duke), Dear Princess, Dear Countess Aix, Dear Lady Alwin, Dear Sir Hubert, etc., and close, "Sincerely," "Faithfully," or "Affectionately," as the case might be.
Should an American have occasion to write to Royalty he would begin: "Madam" (or Sir), and end: "I have the honor to remain, madam (or Sir), your most obedient." ("Your most obedient servant" is a signature reserved usually for our own President--or Vice-President.)
· · ·
End of part 25 of 32
Continue readingChapters 28-29: Longer Letters; The Fundamentals of Good Behavior
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