The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman · Laurence Sterne

Volume IV, Chapter 87

310 of 315 · 2 min of reading

----AND here is the Maes--and this is the Sambre;_ said the corporal, pointing with his right hand extended a little towards the map, and his left upon Mrs. Bridget’s shoulder--but not the shoulder next him--and this, said he, is the town of Namur--and this the citadel--and there lay the French--and here lay his honour and myself----and in this cursed trench, Mrs. Bridget, quoth the corporal, taking her by the hand, did he receive the wound which crush’d him so miserably here._----In pronouncing which, he slightly press’d the back of her hand towards the part he felt for----and let it fall.

We thought, Mr. Trim, it had been more in the middle,----said Mrs. Bridget----

That would have undone us for ever--said the corporal.

----And left my poor mistress undone too, said Bridget._

The corporal made no reply to the repartee, but by giving Mrs. Bridget a kiss.

Come--come--said Bridget--holding the palm of her left hand parallel to the plane of the horizon, and sliding the fingers of the other over it, in a way which could not have been done, had there been the least wart or protruberance----’Tis every syllable of it false, cried the corporal, before she had half finished the sentence----

--I know it to be fact, said Bridget, from credible witnesses.

----Upon my honour, said the corporal, laying his hand upon his heart, and blushing, as he spoke, with honest resentment--’tis a story, Mrs. Bridget, as false as hell----Not, said Bridget, interrupting him, that either I or my mistress care a halfpenny about it, whether ’tis so or no----only that when one is married, one would chuse to have such a thing by one at least----

It was somewhat unfortunate for Mrs. Bridget, that she had begun the attack with her manual exercise; for the corporal instantly * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *.

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End of part 310 of 315