The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman · Laurence Sterne

Volume IV, Chapter 88

311 of 315 · 1 min of reading

IT was like the momentary contest in the moist eye-lids of an April morning, “Whether Bridget should laugh or cry.”

She snatch’d up a rolling-pin----’twas ten to one, she had laugh’d----

She laid it down----she cried; and had one single tear of ’em but tasted of bitterness, full sorrowful would the corporal’s heart have been that he had used the argument; but the corporal understood the sex, a quart major to a terce at least, better than my uncle Toby, and accordingly he assailed Mrs. Bridget after this manner.

I know, Mrs. Bridget, said the corporal, giving her a most respectful kiss, that thou art good and modest by nature, and art withal so generous a girl in thyself, that, if I know thee rightly, thou would’st not wound an insect, much less the honour of so gallant and worthy a soul as my master, wast thou sure to be made a countess of----but thou hast been set on, and deluded, dear Bridget, as is often a woman’s case, “to please others more than themselves----”

Bridget’s eyes poured down at the sensations the corporal excited.

----Tell me----tell me, then, my dear Bridget, continued the corporal, taking hold of her hand, which hung down dead by her side,----and giving a second kiss----whose suspicion has misled thee?

Bridget sobb’d a sob or two----then open’d her eyes----the corporal wiped ’em with the bottom of her apron----she then open’d her heart and told him all.

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End of part 311 of 315